Help, Wait, and Okay
sooo. we've got bathroom down. good. now we're building the three signs that get you through basically any awkward stuck moment: help, wait, and okay.
these three cover a lot of ground. somebody's overwhelmed, you sign wait. somebody needs something and you don't know what yet, you sign help — as in "do you need help" or "can you help me," works both directions. and okay is your all-purpose "we're good" — checking in, answering a check-in, wrapping up a conversation, all of it.
help
flat hand, thumb up, like you're giving somebody a thumbs-up. your other hand is flat, palm up, underneath it. you lift both hands together a little. that's it. that's the whole sign — one hand's getting a boost from the other, which is a nice bit of logic if you think about it.
do it slow the first few times. i mean it. this is one of those signs people rush because it feels simple, and rushed signs read as mush, not fluency. clear and slow looks like you know what you're doing. fast and sloppy looks like you're guessing. slow is faster, long term. that's just true of this whole language.
wait
both hands up, palms facing you, fingers wiggling a little. kind of looks like you're doing jazz hands at somebody, which — yeah, embrace that. i tell people to do it wrong on purpose the first time, big goofy wiggle, get the laugh out, then tighten it up. once you're not scared of looking silly, the sign actually comes easier.
the face matters here more than people expect. a flat, bored face on "wait" reads as annoyed, like you're telling someone to shove off. eyebrows up, a little patience in your expression, and it reads as "hang tight, i've got you." this is the thing i keep hammering — your face is grammar in this language. it's not decoration on top of the sign. it's part of the sentence. people want to keep a poker face because that feels safe, and it just flattens everything you're trying to say.
okay
this one you already know. the "okay" hand sign — thumb and finger in a circle, other three fingers up. americans do this constantly without thinking about it. good news: it means the same thing in ASL. one less thing to learn.
putting them together
practice this small exchange with somebody at home tonight:
- sign "help" with raised eyebrows, like a question
- other person signs "wait," small wiggle, patient face
- then "okay" from both of you
ninety seconds, no big production. do it in the kitchen while somebody's finishing dishes. that's plenty.
kade's about at the age now where he'll do the small, low version of a sign — hand down by his hip, barely moving — so his friends in the car don't clock what he's doing. every morning at drop-off i sign "i love you" to the kids before they get out, and lately he does the cool, low, hardly-there version back instead of the big obvious one. i used to feel a little bummed about that, ngl, like he was outgrowing it. but he's still doing it. that's the win. doesn't have to be big to count.
same goes for help, wait, and okay. you don't need to perform these signs like you're on a stage. small, clear, readable — that's the whole job.
a real caution, nothing dramatic
with "wait," don't overdo the wiggle speed-wise if you're signing to someone who's actually anxious or in a hurry — a fast frantic wiggle reads as "hurry up and wait," which is a weird mixed signal. slow wiggle, calm face. you're trying to soothe, not stall.
and with "help," watch your handshape. thumb up, not thumb tucked in — a lot of beginners collapse the thumb and the sign gets mushy and hard to read. small thing, but it's the kind of small thing that separates "i understood you" from "wait, what."
before next time
try the three-sign exchange above with whoever's around your house tonight, even if they think you're being weird about it. that's fine. weird is how everybody starts.
~terry