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  • HandoutHandout 1: What You Actually Need to Get Started

    Handout 1: What You Actually Need to Get Started

    okay so before anyone panics and buys a fancy binder system or archival software, let's talk about what you actually need. it's less than you think. i started this whole thing with a shoebox and a notebook, so don't let the supply list talk you into stalling out before you write a single sentence.

    Below is a budget tier (genuinely enough to do the whole class) and a nice-to-have tier (stuff that makes it easier or more fun, not stuff you need).

    Budget Tier — what you need

    • A notebook or a stack of paper. Doesn't matter which. I use whatever's closest, honestly. Something you don't feel precious about is better than something nice you're scared to mess up.
    • A pen that doesn't skip. Small thing, but you will write faster with a decent pen. Test it before you buy it if you can.
    • A folder or envelope for loose photos. Even a manila one from home works. You just need photos to stop floating around loose in a drawer.
    • Your phone. For voice memos, for photos of documents, for texting your cousin to ask "hey, what did grandpa's truck look like." This is genuinely half my process.
    • A note in your phone or a plain document on your computer. This is where the real writing happens for a lot of people. You don't need anything fancier than the Notes app. I don't use anything fancier than the Notes app.

    That's it. That's the whole budget list. If all you bring to class week one is a notebook and a pen, you're set.

    Nice-to-Have Tier — makes it easier, not required

    • A basic photo scanner or a scanning app on your phone. There are free ones. This matters if you've got actual physical photos you want to preserve digitally, but it is not urgent for week one.
    • A three-ring binder with page protectors, if you're the type who likes things organized as you go. I am not that type, my system is closer to "pile," but I know some of you are, and page protectors are cheap.
    • A small recorder or the voice memo app, specifically for interviewing relatives. Some people talk more freely if they don't see you typing.
    • A subscription to one of the genealogy databases, eventually, if you want to chase dates and records. Not needed for this class. This class is about the person stuff, not the spreadsheet stuff. You can build the family tree later. Please don't let the tree become the whole project, I've watched that happen to good people.
    • Archival-safe photo boxes, if you've got a real collection you're trying to protect long-term. Nice, not urgent.

    Shopping notes

    For paper and basic supplies, any grocery store or big-box run covers it. Honestly, throw a notebook in your cart next time you're doing a Costco or Macey's run and you're done. Nothing on the budget list requires a special trip.

    If you want a scanner, check a local office supply store before buying anything online. You don't need a nice one. A flatbed scanner from ten years ago sitting in someone's closet in American Fork works fine for old photos.

    For binders and page protectors, dollar stores are honestly great, no need to spend real money there.

    One thing I'll say plainly: don't buy the expensive genealogy software before you've written anything. I still don't fully understand the archival systems, and I've been doing this four years. Plain documents and a shoebox got me a long way. Buy the fancy stuff later, if you even want it.

    See you at class one with your notebook. No worries at all if that's genuinely all you bring.

  • HandoutHandout 2: Cheat Sheet — Writing Your Family History

    Handout 2: Cheat Sheet — Writing Your Family History

    okay so this is the one-pager. tape it above your desk, stick it in your genealogy binder, whatever works. here's everything we cover in class, boiled down.

    ---

    Start here, every time

    One memory, not a timeline. Don't open with a family tree. Timelines are where projects go to die, and I've watched people spend six weeks building one and never write a single sentence about an actual human. Pick one moment. One person. Go.

    The two kinds of stuff

    • Spreadsheet stuff — dates, places, census lines, occupations. Useful. Not the story.
    • Person stuff — what they ate, how they took their coffee, the truck they drove, whether they were always cold. This is the good stuff. Dates and places are just bookends holding it up.

    If your paragraph could be mistaken for a spreadsheet with feelings pretending, it's not done yet.

    The four-sentence rule

    You do not need a book. Four honest sentences is a family history. I have a photocopy of a letter where an ancestor apologized for not writing sooner, wrote four sentences, and signed off. I love it more than most full pages I've read. Short is fine. Short is great.

    When you don't know the facts

    Write it anyway. You don't need it to be accurate to be worth writing. If your family's got a half-remembered version passed around at dinner, that version is real too, even if it's wrong. Try starting with:

    "The way we tell it is—"

    and just keep going. A wrong-but-loved story beats a correct blank page every time.

    Getting stories out of other people

    They will not hand you their memories. Not because they don't care, they just forget, or they think it's not interesting, or they say "I can't write." Don't make it a big assignment. Catch them casual:

    • pancakes on a Saturday morning
    • in the car on the way back from a DI run
    • texting, off-hand, no pressure

    Then type up exactly what they said. That's it. That's the piece.

    The read-aloud test

    Before you call anything finished, read it out loud. If it sounds like you're reading off a form, it is one. Go back and find one specific, physical, small detail and put it back in.

    Quick prompts if you're stuck

    • What did they eat, and how did they eat it?
    • What did their hands look like, doing what?
    • What's one thing they said all the time?
    • What did their house smell like?
    • What's a story your family tells "wrong" but tells anyway?

    Permission slips (reread as needed)

    • No worries at all if you're behind. There's no behind.
    • You don't need fancy software. Phone notes, a plain document, the back of a receipt. Whatever gets it written.
    • You don't need to cite your sources perfectly. I don't either, and I tell people to do better than me, honestly. But write the story first. Fix the footnotes later, or don't.
    • Rough and finished beats perfect and never started.

    ---

    That's the whole cheat sheet. If you only remember one line off this page, make it this one: start with one memory, not a timeline. Everything else is just details.

  • WorksheetHandout 3: Getting the Story Out of Someone Else

    Handout 3: Getting the Story Out of Someone Else

    okay so this is the one you'll actually use at thanksgiving. print a few copies. bring a pen. catch someone casual, not in a big-assignment kind of way, or this whole thing gets awkward and nobody talks.

    Fill this in with whoever you're interviewing. Doesn't have to be all at once. Doesn't have to be all of it.

    ---

    Before you start

    Who are you talking to? ___________________________

    How are you related? ___________________________

    Where are you doing this? (kitchen table, phone call, in the car on the way back from a DI run, wherever — it counts) ___________________________________________________

    Don't announce "I'm interviewing you for the family history now." Just start talking. Pancakes help.

    ---

    The questions (pick three, not all ten)

    • What did your mom (or dad, or grandma) always make for dinner?
    • What was a rule in your house growing up that seems strange now?
    • What did the inside of your childhood house smell like?
    • Tell me about a car someone in the family drove.
    • What did they order at a restaurant, without even looking at the menu?
    • Was there a phrase someone always said? What was it?
    • What's something you were scared of as a kid?
    • Who in the family did you not get along with, and why?
    • What's a story that gets told a little differently every time?
    • What's something small you wish you'd asked before it was too late?

    Notice none of these are "when were you born." That's the spreadsheet stuff. You can get that off a record. You can't get the coffee order off a record.

    ---

    Write it down here, messy is fine

    ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________

    ---

    One line that surprised you

    Somewhere in the conversation they'll say something you didn't expect. Write just that one line here, exact words if you can remember them.

    ___________________________________________________

    That line is probably your first sentence. My cousin gave me two texted lines about our grandpa's truck and it turned into a page and a half. You don't need much to start. You need one true thing.

    ---

    If they say "I don't remember" or "there's nothing interesting"

    There's always something. Ask about a meal. Ask about a smell. Ask what was in the garage. People think their normal isn't a story. It is. That's kind of the whole class.

    If they still won't budge, that's fine too. No worries at all. Come back to it another day. Or write down that they wouldn't talk about it — that's true, and it's allowed to be part of the record. Some of the best family history I've collected is a shrug and a half-answer.

    ---

    Last thing

    Write the story back the way they'd tell it, not the way a form would. If it comes out sounding like a police report, read it out loud and fix it until it sounds like a person talking. That's the test. Every time.

  • HandoutHandout 4: Troubleshooting Guide — Common Problems (and Fixes)

    Handout 4: Troubleshooting Guide — Common Problems (and Fixes)

    okay so by this point in class you've probably hit at least one of these. no worries at all, every single person who's ever done this hits at least one of these. here's the list I keep coming back to.

    1. "I don't have enough information." You don't need much. Four sentences is a family history. I have a photocopied letter from an ancestor that's literally four sentences and an apology for not writing sooner, and it's one of my favorite things I own. Write what you have. Stop waiting to have more.

    2. "I only have a timeline, no story." This is the most common one and honestly it's where projects go to die. A timeline is spreadsheet stuff. Pick one line off it, one date and place, and ask "what was a Tuesday like for this person." Write that instead.

    3. "It reads like a spreadsheet with feelings pretending." I've written this exact document. Read it out loud. If you catch yourself listing instead of telling, stop and find one detail, what they ate, how they drove, what they always said. Rebuild around that one thing.

    4. "Family won't give me their memories." They're not withholding, they've just forgotten they have them. Don't send a formal request. Catch them casual. Pancakes. A car ride. A DI run. Ask one small specific question, not "tell me about grandma."

    5. "I'm not sure this memory is even accurate." Write it anyway. Start the sentence with "the way we tell it is—" and keep going. A story the family loves and half-remembers beats an empty page waiting for proof.

    6. "I found a record but now I can't remember where." Yeah. Me too, constantly. I am genuinely bad at this and I tell you that so you'll do better than me. Whenever you find something, write the source down immediately, even messy, even just "Ancestry, 1900 census, searched under married name." Future you will not remember. Future you never remembers.

    7. "This person is a blank. One line, an occupation, nothing else." I had an ancestor listed as "laborer" and nothing more. I spent an hour trying to picture the actual day. Sometimes the honest write-up is about the not-knowing itself. That's allowed to be the story.

    8. "I showed someone my draft and it fell flat, or nobody responded." This happened to me with a Facebook post. Two likes. I spiraled about it for a full day 🫠. Then one stranger said it reminded them of their own grandfather and the whole thing turned around. You can't judge a piece by the first reaction. Give it time, or give it to one person, not a crowd.

    9. "My family member says they 'can't write.'" Great, don't make them. Get them talking and write it down yourself. My friend dictated a memory to me at a red light and it turned into one of the best things I've collected. He still says he can't write. He wrote it. He just didn't type it.

    10. "I keep avoiding the actual writing part." This one's mine too, if I'm honest. I have an Etsy shop I still haven't launched because I'm nervous nobody would care. Same fear shows up here. The fix isn't confidence, it's smallness. Don't sit down to write "the family history." Sit down to write one sentence about one person. "He was always cold." See where it goes.

    ---

    If you only take one thing from this handout: start smaller than feels reasonable. You can always add more later. You can't add anything to a page you never started. 😩 anyway. Bring whatever you've got next week, rough is fine.

  • podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 1

    Audio coming soon — show notes below.

    JESS: —okay wait, say that again, because I don't think the recorder was on yet.

    SIERRA: which part

    JESS: "a spreadsheet with feelings pretending."

    SIERRA: oh yeah. okay so that's kind of the whole class, honestly. people come in with dates and places and census records and they think that's the story. and it's not. it's a spreadsheet wearing a story's clothes.

    JESS: for people just joining us, this is "Writing Your Family History," it's the six-week class, we're doing a little podcast alongside it this time so if you can't make a session or you're just nosy—

    SIERRA: no worries at all if you're just nosy.

    JESS: —you can still get something out of it. Sierra, introduce yourself for the two people who don't know you from the coffee shop.

    SIERRA: I'm Sierra. I work at a coffee spot in Lehi, I do some 3D printing on the side, I'm bad at finishing my Etsy shop, and about four years ago I inherited a shoebox of photos from my relative Sandy and it kind of ruined my life in a good way.

    JESS: ruined how

    SIERRA: like, unlabeled photos, everyone squinting into the sun, no idea who's who. I sat down one Sunday to sort them. that was four years ago. I am still, technically, sorting.

    JESS: that's the origin story.

    SIERRA: that's the origin story. and somewhere in there I got really into the genealogy databases, the free ones then the paid ones, staying up too late chasing a name spelled three different ways. I've got this theory one branch of my family came west through Wyoming on a handcart. no proof. I'm not letting it go.

    JESS: okay so tell the Facebook one. I like the Facebook one.

    SIERRA: oh, the two-likes thing.

    JESS: yeah.

    SIERRA: so I wrote up one of the family stories, I was actually kind of proud of it, and I posted it in a genealogy group on Facebook. and it got two likes. two. and I spiraled about it, quietly, for like a full day. felt very silly and very exposed for no reason.

    JESS: and then?

    SIERRA: and then a total stranger commented that it reminded them of their own grandfather. and that fixed the whole thing. instantly. one comment from someone I'll never meet, and suddenly it didn't matter that it was only two likes. that's kind of what writing these stories is for, I think. it's not really for the internet. it's for the one person who reads it and goes, oh, that's my grandpa too.

    JESS: that's a nice place to land actually, because I want to get to the practical tip before we run long.

    SIERRA: okay so here's the thing I tell everybody first session, and you can use this whether or not you ever take the class. don't start with a timeline.

    JESS: why not, timelines feel like the responsible choice.

    SIERRA: they feel responsible and they're where projects go to die. I've watched people spend six weeks building out a whole family tree, dates, places, every branch, and never write one sentence about an actual human being. so instead, start with one memory. just one. what somebody ate. how they took their coffee. what truck they drove. the boring stuff is the good stuff, the birth and death dates are just bookends.

    JESS: so if somebody's listening right now and they want to try it tonight—

    SIERRA: pick one person. write one true sentence about a small, physical detail. "he was always cold." something like that. read it out loud when you're done. if it sounds like a spreadsheet, it is one, and you start over. that's it. that's the whole tip.

    JESS: I like that it's small enough to actually do.

    SIERRA: that's on purpose. four sentences is a family history. I get genuinely annoyed by the idea that it has to be a book.

    JESS: okay, last thing, tease next session for us.

    SIERRA: next time we're talking about getting stories out of relatives who insist they don't remember anything or "aren't writers." my friend Aidan says that constantly, he swears he can't write, and I got one of the best stories I've ever collected out of him at a red light on the way back from a DI run. so. we'll talk about how to catch people casual.

    JESS: catching people casual. I like that as a class title honestly.

    SIERRA: it should be the whole syllabus.

    JESS: alright, that's episode one. see everybody Thursday.

  • podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 2

    Audio coming soon — show notes below.

    JESS: —okay but you can't just leave it there, what happened to the truck?

    SIERRA: no we're gonna get to eden's grandpa's truck, i promise, it's a whole thing. but first i want to back up because i think last episode we jumped straight into "write a memory" and some people are probably sitting there going, sierra, i don't have a memory, i have a spreadsheet.

    JESS: the spreadsheet stuff.

    SIERRA: the spreadsheet stuff. dates, places, a census line that says "laborer" and nothing else. that's not nothing, but it's not a person yet.

    JESS: so what do you do with just a spreadsheet.

    SIERRA: here's the thing, you don't start there. you start with one memory. somebody else's, even. you don't have to have it yourself.

    JESS: okay tell the driving story. i know you have a driving story.

    SIERRA: (laughs) okay so, my friend aidan, who will tell you to your face that he "can't write," we were coming back from a DI run, both of us in the car, and he just starts telling me about his grandfather's tools. like, offhand. not thinking it's a big deal.

    JESS: mid-drive.

    SIERRA: mid-drive. and i'm typing it into my phone at a red light like a maniac, because i can tell it's good. and it ends up being one of the best pieces anybody in my own family collection has. and aidan still, to this day, says he can't write.

    JESS: because he didn't write it.

    SIERRA: right, he talked it. that's the trick. if the blank page freezes you up, don't write. talk. record yourself, or get a friend to type while you drive, whatever. the writing part is just catching what you already have in your head.

    JESS: so if somebody's listening right now and they're not even in the class, what's the one thing they could actually do this week.

    SIERRA: okay, practical tip. don't ask somebody to "write down a memory." that's too big, people freeze, it becomes homework. ask them one specific question instead. what did grandpa take in his coffee. what was the truck. something small and dumb and specific. you'll get more out of "what was the truck" than "tell me about grandpa."

    JESS: is that from experience.

    SIERRA: that is very much from experience. my spouse nichole, i asked her to write down one memory of her mom, just one, and she kept saying "yeah i'll get to it" for eight months.

    JESS: eight months.

    SIERRA: eight months. and then i just asked her over pancakes one saturday, real casual, not a big assignment, and it came out in like four minutes. so, lesson learned. don't make it a project. make it a pancake question.

    JESS: pancake question. i'm stealing that.

    SIERRA: steal it, it's yours.

    JESS: okay, so next session, we're finally doing the truck.

    SIERRA: we're doing the truck. eden texted me two lines about her grandpa's truck, just two lines, and i turned it into a page and a half and she cried when she read it. so next time i'm bringing that one in, we're gonna look at what it actually was in the original text versus what it became, so people can see there's not some huge gap between "i don't have much" and an actual page.

    JESS: and people are bringing their own two lines.

    SIERRA: bring your two lines. bring your pancake question answer. bring whatever you got off somebody in a car. no worries at all if it's rough, that's kind of the whole point of session three.

    JESS: alright. see you all then.

  • podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 3

    Audio coming soon — show notes below.

    JESS: —wait, say the four sentences thing again, because I want people to actually hear it.

    SIERRA: okay so the letter. it's a photocopy of a photocopy at this point, real grainy. and my ancestor starts it by apologizing. "sorry it's been so long since i wrote." and then he gives you four sentences. what he's been doing, how the weather's been, that he hopes everyone's well. and that's it. that's the whole letter.

    JESS: and you love this letter.

    SIERRA: i love this letter so much. because here's the thing, that's a family history. four sentences. i have people in class who think they need to produce, like, a memoir, before they're allowed to call it done. and meanwhile this guy apologized for taking too long and then gave me four sentences and it's one of the best things in my whole file.

    JESS: I feel like that should be printed on something. a mug.

    SIERRA: i'd 3d print it if i could figure out how to get text to wrap right in fusion. i'm still fighting that program, honestly. no worries though, i'll get there or i won't.

    JESS: okay so this is episode three, we're talking about actually getting family members to hand over their memories, which I know is a thing people get stuck on.

    SIERRA: huge thing. because the assumption is, if you ask, they'll just tell you. and they won't. not because they don't care, they just forget, or they think it's not interesting, or they need you to remind them what you're even asking for.

    JESS: so what do you do.

    SIERRA: you don't make it an assignment. i learned this the hard way with my spouse, nichole. i asked her to write down one memory of her own mom. one memory. and she kept saying yeah, i'll get to it. eight months. eight months of "i'll get to it."

    JESS: eight months!

    SIERRA: eight months. and then finally one saturday we're just having pancakes, no laptop out, nothing, and i just go, hey, tell me about your mom's kitchen. and she just starts talking. easy. because it wasn't homework anymore, it was just a conversation at breakfast.

    JESS: so the tip is—

    SIERRA: the tip is, catch them casual. don't say "i need you to write me a memory." say "what did grandpa's truck smell like" while you're both doing dishes. or in the car. i've gotten some of my best stuff in a car. my friend aidan dictated a whole memory to me driving back from a DI run, and he swears up and down he can't write, and i typed it up at a red light and it's one of the best pieces i've got.

    JESS: so if somebody's listening right now and they're not even taking the class, what do they do tonight.

    SIERRA: pick one person. pick one specific, boring question. not "tell me about your childhood," that's too big, that's a timeline question and timelines are where projects go to die. ask something small. what did they eat for breakfast growing up. what was in the garage. how'd they take their coffee. ask it casual, at dinner, whatever. write down what they say basically word for word. don't fix it yet.

    JESS: don't fix it.

    SIERRA: don't fix it. the fixing comes later, and honestly half the time it doesn't even need fixing. the boring detail is already the good detail. that's the whole secret, there isn't a bigger one.

    JESS: I love that. okay, last thing, tease next week for me.

    SIERRA: next session we're doing the read-aloud thing, where everybody brings whatever they caught this week, even if it's rough, even if it's three sentences, and we read it out loud in the room. that's actually my favorite session, because you can hear it turn into a real story the second it's out loud instead of on the page. if it sounds like a spreadsheet, you'll hear it. and then we fix it together.

    JESS: no pressure, bring your rough thing.

    SIERRA: no pressure at all. bring the messy four sentences. that counts.

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