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HandoutHandout 1: Supply & Shopping List
Handout 1: Supply & Shopping List
Okay, before we touch a single leaf, let's talk about what to actually buy. You do not need to spend a lot of money to start this hobby, and honestly, spending a lot of money on your first plant is how you end up mad at yourself in three weeks. I did it. Ask me about the fiddle-leaf fig sometime.
Here's the list broken into what you need to start, and what's nice to have once you know you like this.
The Budget Tier (start here, seriously)
- One cheap plant. A pothos or a snake plant, five to ten dollars, from the plant section at Macey's or wherever you're already doing your grocery run. Do not buy the pretty forty-dollar one first. Learn on something you won't cry over.
- A pot with a drainage hole. This is non-negotiable, more on why in Handout 2, but a pot with no hole in the bottom is where good plants go to rot. If your cute pot doesn't have one, use it as a decorative sleeve and keep the plant in its plastic nursery pot inside it.
- A basic potting mix, any bag that says "potting soil" or "indoor plant mix." You don't need the fancy blends yet.
- A finger. Free, comes with you. This is your moisture meter and it's more honest than the gadgets.
- A watering can or even just a cup. Doesn't need to be nice.
- A jug of tap water, left out overnight before you use it. Our water's hard out here, same stuff that crusts up your shower door, and letting it sit lets some of that settle out. Costs nothing, just takes planning.
That's genuinely enough to start. I mean that.
Nice-to-Have Tier (once you're hooked, and you might be)
- A moisture meter, if you don't trust your finger yet. I don't use mine much anymore but it was a nice training wheel.
- Terracotta pots for anything you tend to overwater — the clay breathes and dries out faster, which is a feature, not a flaw.
- A small pair of pruning snips, for cutting back leggy growth or dead leaves. Kitchen scissors work fine too, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
- A grow light, if you've got a room with rough light and you're attached to it anyway. We'll talk about light honestly in Handout 3 — most "bright rooms" are dimmer than people think.
- A pebble tray, if you get into humidity-loving plants. Skip the spray bottle, misting barely does anything, it just makes you feel busy.
- Fertilizer, but only once your plant's established. And go light. I once turned a peace lily's leaf tips crispy brown because I fed it like it owed me something.
A Few Shopping Notes
Grocery store plant sections are underrated. The turnover's fast so the plants are usually fresh, and the prices are low enough that killing one doesn't sting.
Garden centers are great once you know what you're looking for, but the staff there are trained to upsell you on things you don't need yet. Nice people, mind you. Just go in with your list.
If a plant at the store looks stressed — yellow leaves, dry crispy edges, sitting in standing water in its nursery pot — it's not a deal, it's a problem you're inheriting. Walk past it.
And don't buy a fiddle-leaf fig as your first plant. I will die on this hill.
HandoutHandout 2: Cheat Sheet — Watering, Light, and Water Quality
Handout 2: Cheat Sheet — Watering, Light, and Water Quality
Quick reference, keep this on your fridge or wherever you'll actually see it. This is the stuff I repeat every single class because it's the stuff that actually saves plants.
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Watering
The biggest killer is too much water, not too little. Say it with me. People water out of guilt, not because the plant needs it. I did this to my first pothos and it rotted from the roots up before I even knew that was possible.
- Check with your finger, not a schedule. Stick it an inch or two into the soil. Dry? Water it. Still damp? Leave it alone, come back in a few days.
- Most houseplants want to dry out some between waterings. Not bone dry, not swamp. Somewhere in between.
- Pot needs a drainage hole. No exceptions on this one. If water can't get out, it just sits at the bottom and rots the roots. If your cute pot doesn't have a hole, keep the plant in a plastic nursery pot and slip that inside.
- When you do water, water it properly. Until it runs out the bottom. Little sips on top just wet the surface and the roots never get anything.
Our Water (Yes, This Matters)
That white crust on your shower door? Same crust that shows up on your soil and pot rims. Our tap water out here is hard, and plants notice.
- Let tap water sit out overnight before using it, uncovered, so some of that stuff settles and the chlorine backs off some.
- If your leaf tips are going brown and crispy and you're not overwatering or underwatering, this is usually why. It's not your fault. It's the water.
Light
Nobody measures this and everybody guesses wrong. A room that feels bright to you, standing in it with your human eyes, can be genuinely dim to a plant.
- Bright, indirect light = near a window but not baking in direct sun for hours. Most common houseplants want this.
- Direct sun = actual sunbeam hitting the leaves for a chunk of the day. Rougher on more plants than people think, especially in summer through a south or west window.
- Low light = corners, hallways, north-facing rooms. A lot fewer plants are okay here than the plant tag wants you to believe.
- If a plant's not looking sunday best — leggy, pale, dropping leaves for no reason — light is the first thing I'd check, before water, before anything else.
Humidity — You Don't Need to Mist
I'll say this plainly: misting barely does anything. It makes you feel busy and doesn't raise humidity for more than about four minutes.
If a plant genuinely wants more humidity than our dry air gives it: - Group plants together (they help each other some) - Use a pebble tray with water under the pot, not touching the roots - Or honestly, just don't get that plant. This is why I've mostly given up on ferns. I've tried. I'm done pretending.
Fast Troubleshooting
What you're seeing Probably means Yellow, mushy leaves Overwatering Crispy brown tips Hard water, or low humidity, or both Dropping leaves, no obvious reason Check light first, then water Leggy, stretching toward window Not enough light Tiny webbing under leaves Spider mites — check leaf undersides regularly, I check mine like a hobby now ---
One last thing: if you're starting out, buy the cheap plant. A five-dollar pothos, not a forty-dollar something from the garden center. Kill it or don't. Either way you'll learn more from that one than from any handout, including this one.
WorksheetHouseplant Basics — Handout 3: Know Your Plant Checklist
Houseplant Basics — Handout 3: Know Your Plant Checklist
Fill this out for one plant you own (or the one you're taking home from class today). Not a test, nobody's grading it. This is just so you actually look at your plant instead of guessing about it, which, let's be honest, is what most of us do until something turns brown…
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Plant name (whatever you call it, Latin names not required in this house):
_______________________________________________
Where does it live in your house?
☐ Right by a window, sun hits it directly some part of the day ☐ Near a window but not in direct light ☐ Across the room from a window ☐ Honestly kind of a dark corner
Be honest — what did you think this counted as before this class?
☐ Bright ☐ Medium ☐ Low
(Most people move down a category once they actually pay attention. That's normal. A "bright room" to us is often dim to a plant.)
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The finger test
Stick your finger in the soil, first knuckle deep.
☐ Wet ☐ Barely damp ☐ Bone dry
What are you going to do about it?
☐ Water now ☐ Wait a few days and check again ☐ Nothing, it's fine
Remember — most plants I've killed, and most plants you'll kill, die from too much water, not too little. If you're not sure, wait. The plant will tell you.
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Water check
Did you let your water sit out overnight before using it?
☐ Yes ☐ No, straight from the tap
Our water's hard here. That white crust on your shower door? Same crust that shows up on your soil and on leaf tips. Letting it sit out a day helps some of that settle out. Costs you nothing but a little planning.
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Look at the leaves
Turn a few leaves over. Actually turn them, don't just glance.
☐ Clean ☐ Sticky ☐ Webby or speckled ☐ Brown, crispy tips
Brown crispy tips — what's your best guess why?
☐ Too much fertilizer ☐ Hard water buildup ☐ Dry air ☐ No idea yet
(All four are fair guesses. I've caused brown tips with fertilizer myself — fed a peace lily like it was a teenager and spent a whole Saturday convinced it was diseased before I read the label.)
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Pot check
Pull the plant out, or at least turn the pot over and look at the drainage hole.
☐ Water runs through freely ☐ Water sits and pools ☐ Roots circling tightly, packed in ☐ Looks about right
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One honest question
What's the thing you're most worried about with this plant?
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
Bring this back next week and we'll look at it together. No shame in this room — I killed my first pothos by drowning it out of guilt, not neglect, so whatever you're dealing with, I've probably done worse to something in my own kitchen.
HandoutHandout 4: Troubleshooting Guide
Handout 4: Troubleshooting Guide
Ok, before you spiral over a droopy leaf, read this. Nine times out of ten it's one of these, and none of them mean you're bad at this. I've done every single one of these myself.
1. Yellow leaves, whole leaf, kind of soft and mushy Usually: overwatering. This is the big one, this is the one I'll say in every lesson because it's true — most houseplants die from too much water, not too little. People water out of guilt, like the plant will feel neglected. It won't. Fix: stick your finger in the soil. If it's still damp an inch down, wait. Let the pot get properly light before you water again.
2. Brown, crispy leaf tips Usually: our water. Hard tap water leaves the same white crust on your plant that it leaves on your shower door. Same water, same crust, and it shows up as brown tips. Fix: fill a container after your shower and let it sit out overnight before you use it. Cheap fix, makes a real difference.
3. Leaves dropping, seemingly out of nowhere Usually: the plant got moved, or the light changed, or it's a fiddle-leaf fig being a fiddle-leaf fig. I got one as a birthday gift, gorgeous thing, dropped every leaf in a month. I will not be talked out of my opinion that they're overrated drama plants. Fix: stop moving it around. Give it a spot and leave it there for a few weeks before you panic.
4. Plant looks "fine" but just... isn't thriving Usually: not enough light. This is the one nobody measures and everybody guesses wrong on. A room that looks bright to you, standing in it with your human eyes, is often quite dim to a plant. Fix: move it closer to a window, or accept it's a low-light plant and stop expecting sunday-best growth from it.
5. Brown crispy edges plus curling, especially in winter Usually: dry air. Our elevation and our dry climate are rough on anything that wants humidity. I still can't keep a fern alive in this air, I've mostly given up trying. Fix: group humidity-loving plants together, or set them on a tray of pebbles with a little water in it. Skip the misting — it barely does anything and mostly just makes you feel busy.
6. Brown, crispy leaf tips right after you fed it Usually: too much fertilizer. I did this to a peace lily so badly I thought it had a disease. Spent a whole Saturday convinced of it before I read the fertilizer label and realized I'd basically been feeding it like a teenager. Fix: less than you think, less often than you think. Half-strength, and only when it's actively growing.
7. Tiny webbing, especially on the underside of leaves Usually: spider mites. I found these on a calathea completely by accident, morning light hit the leaf just right and I saw the webbing and felt genuinely betrayed. Fix: wipe leaves down, isolate the plant from others, and check the undersides of leaves regularly. I check mine like it's a little hobby now, honestly.
8. Water runs straight through, or soil pulls away from the pot edges Usually: the soil's gone hydrophobic from drying out completely, or your pot has no drainage. Fix: water slowly, in stages, let it soak in. And please make sure your pot has a drainage hole. No exceptions on this one.
9. Plant looks "basically dead" Cut it back hard, repot it in fresh soil, and give it a little time before you decide. A friend at work once handed me a plant she'd basically given up on and I brought it back. She called me a plant witch. I've mentioned that probably eleven times since, so, take that for what it's worth.
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When in doubt: check the soil before you water, check the light before you blame yourself, and let your water sit out overnight. That covers most of it.
podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 1
Audio coming soon — show notes below.
JESS: —okay so she's not lying, right, tell them you're not lying about the pothos.
MIRANDA: I am not lying. I killed the plant that is famous for being unkillable. Google it, it'll tell you pothos survive neglect, survive dark closets, survive college dorms... I gave mine full afternoon sun and watered it every single day because that felt like caring, and it rotted from the roots up. I didn't even know that was possible until it happened to me.
JESS: This is Jess, I produce the class podcasts here at Community Learning, and this is Miranda Haskell, who teaches Houseplant Basics, which starts up again next week. Miranda, do you still have that pot?
MIRANDA: I do. Empty, on a shelf. It's a little bit of a trophy, a little bit of a reminder. Anyway. Welcome, this is episode one, we're just going to talk before the class starts so you know what you're walking into...
JESS: So for people who haven't taken it before — what actually happens in this class?
MIRANDA: Plants on the table. People touching leaves, checking soil with a finger, turning pots over to look at the drainage holes. I don't do a lot of standing up front talking at people. I'd rather you do it wrong in the room with me there than do it perfect at home alone, because you won't, nobody does that.
JESS: And nobody should feel dumb.
MIRANDA: Right, that's the thing I say first, every time. Everybody in that room has a dead plant story. I've got probably six of them. If I tell mine first, nobody else has to be the only one holding a dead fern.
JESS: Speaking of which — can we talk about the fern?
MIRANDA: Oh, the fern. Okay so I had this idea in my head, "it likes humidity, right, humid is like... plant-friendly," and I put it in the driest corner of my house, right next to the heater vent. Nine days. Crunchy in nine days. That was the moment I really understood that humidity-lovers and Utah's air are just not compatible people. Our air is dry, our water's hard, it's a whole thing.
JESS: This is the part where you tell people not to mist.
MIRANDA: Don't mist your plants. I know it's the thing everyone does, you see it in videos, spray bottle, very soothing. It barely raises humidity for more than about four seconds. It makes you feel busy without actually helping the plant. If something genuinely needs humidity, group your plants together or set them on a tray with some water and pebbles. Skip the spray bottle.
JESS: Okay that's a good one people can use today, they don't even have to take the class for that.
MIRANDA: Here's another one, free, no charge. If your plant's struggling and you don't know why — it's water. Not always, but way more often than people think. Most plants die from too much, not too little. People water out of guilt, they walk by, they feel bad, they water it. Stick your finger in the soil first. If it's still wet an inch down, leave it alone.
JESS: Harsh but fair.
MIRANDA: I'm harsh but fair about plants, yes.
JESS: Do you want to tell the Quail Ridge thing? I think that's a good one for episode one.
MIRANDA: Oh — yeah, okay. So I lead music at Quail Ridge, over at the senior center, been doing it a while. And I caught myself, teaching a plant class one time, running it the exact same way I run music. Same instinct — read the room, watch faces, if something's landing flat you cut it short and move to the next thing before people check out. I noticed I was doing it and I wasn't totally sure how I felt about that, honestly. Like, did I become a person who runs every room the same way? Anyway. It works, so I kept doing it.
JESS: I think that's why the class fills up every session.
MIRANDA: Somebody once told me I was a "plant witch," so, take that for what it's worth...
JESS: We're not doing that story again this episode.
MIRANDA: Fair, fair, I've told it enough.
JESS: Okay, last thing — what's session two, for people deciding whether to sign up?
MIRANDA: Session two we're doing light and water together, because that's really the whole ballgame. I'm bringing a light meter so people can actually check what their "bright room" is really giving a plant, because a bright room to a human is often a pretty dim room to a plant, and everybody guesses wrong on that, every time. And we'll talk about our water out here — the same white crust you're scrubbing off your shower door is what's showing up on your plant pots. Same water, same problem. There's a fix, it's easy, we'll cover it.
JESS: Bring a plant if you've got a sad one.
MIRANDA: Please bring the sad one. I like the sad ones best.
podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 2
Audio coming soon — show notes below.
JESS: —wait, say that again, because I don't think people know that's why their plant tips go brown.
MIRANDA: Okay, so. It's the water. Our water, here, is super hard. Anyone who's scrubbed the shower door and seen that white crust build up, that's the same stuff going into your plant's soil every time you water from the tap.
JESS: And it just... sits there?
MIRANDA: It builds up. And plants don't love it. You'll see the tips of the leaves go brown and crispy and people assume they did something wrong, they assume it's a disease, they panic. It's usually just mineral buildup from the water.
JESS: So what do you do, filtered water or something?
MIRANDA: You don't have to get fancy. Just fill a container the night before and let it sit out on the counter overnight. Some of it evaporates off, or the chlorine settles out, I'm fudging the chemistry a little but the effect is real. I did this myself, actually, that's kind of a funny story—
JESS: Oh good, tell it.
MIRANDA: So I'm scrubbing my shower door, this is maybe two years ago, and I'm looking at this white crust I scrub off every week, annoyed like always. And I go into the other room and I look at one of my plant pots and there's the same white crust. Same exact stuff. And I just stood there like... oh. Same water. Same crust. It had never once occurred to me that what my water was doing to my glass door it was also doing to my soil.
JESS: That's such a normal person moment though, I feel like everyone's had that "oh" click on something.
MIRANDA: Right, and it's not glamorous, it's not some big plant secret, it's just... water sits out overnight, use it the next day, your plants stop looking sad. That's the whole tip. Anyone listening right now who isn't even coming to the class, do that tonight. Fill a jug, put it on the counter, use it tomorrow.
JESS: Free tip, no registration required.
MIRANDA: That's the one thing I want people to walk away with even if they never step foot in the room.
JESS: Okay but I want to go back, last episode you mentioned you overwater out of guilt, and I keep thinking about that—
MIRANDA: Oh, it's true for basically everyone. People water because they feel bad, not because the plant needs it. You feel like you're neglecting it if you don't do something. But watering when it doesn't need water isn't caring for it, it's just... doing something to feel less guilty. And most of the plants I've killed, it wasn't from ignoring them. It was from loving them too aggressively.
JESS: That's basically the plot of every relationship I've ever had.
MIRANDA: [laughs] I'm not going to touch that one.
JESS: Fair. Okay, so, next session — what are we getting into?
MIRANDA: We're doing repotting. Hands-on, everybody brings a plant if they've got one that's looking rootbound, or we've got extras on the table if not. I'm going to show people how to actually tell if a plant needs a bigger pot versus if it just needs different water, different light, whatever we've already covered.
JESS: How do you tell?
MIRANDA: Turn the pot over, look at the drainage hole. If you see roots poking out, or the whole thing is basically a solid brick of roots when you pull it out, it's time. We'll do that together in the room, everybody gets their hands dirty, checks their own plant.
JESS: I feel like that's the part people are scared of, actually touching the roots.
MIRANDA: It is, and that's exactly why we do it in class instead of just talking about it. People do it wrong in the room, that's fine, that's actually the goal. Better than doing it perfect alone at home never.
JESS: Alright. Bring a sad plant, or don't, there'll be one for you.
MIRANDA: Bring the saddest one you've got, honestly. Those are the fun ones.
podcast_scriptClass podcast — episode 3
Audio coming soon — show notes below.
JESS: —and I said, Miranda, you cannot tell a room full of people that their fern is going to die and just move on to the next slide.
MIRANDA: I mean it's true though. I don't love saying it, but it's true.
JESS: You gotta let them grieve for a second.
MIRANDA: Fine, next class I'll pause. One Mississippi. Then I'll tell them the fern's dying.
JESS: This is Houseplant Basics, the podcast, episode three. I'm Jess, I produce these for Utah Community Learning, and this is Miranda Haskell, who apparently has beef with ferns now.
MIRANDA: I don't have beef with ferns. Ferns and I have an understanding. The understanding is they don't live at my house.
JESS: Because of the dry air.
MIRANDA: Because of our dry air, yeah. I tried, genuinely tried, I put one in what I thought was the humid corner of the house — right by the heater vent, which, in hindsight, is the opposite of humid, that's just a corner that blows dry hot air at a plant all day —
JESS: Oh no.
MIRANDA: Nine days. Crunchy in nine days. I picked it up and it basically crumbled like a Dorito.
JESS: That's a visual.
MIRANDA: I learned my lesson. Humidity-lovers and Utah are just not a good match unless you're doing real work to fix it — grouping plants together, a pebble tray, something. Not vibes. I was doing vibes.
JESS: So no ferns from you, ever?
MIRANDA: I've mostly stopped trying. I'll say that plainly. Some of us just don't do ferns and that's allowed.
JESS: Okay, so this week's session was repotting, right? People brought plants from home.
MIRANDA: Right, and can I just say, the turnover rooms are the best rooms. Everybody's got dirt on their hands, nobody's precious about it. That's when people actually relax into it.
JESS: You had someone bring in a plant that was basically a stick.
MIRANDA: Oh — that was Courtney, from my work, actually, a while back, not this class, but it's the same story I always think of. She handed me this plant, just leaves everywhere on the floor of her car, and said "this thing is basically dead, do you want it or should I toss it." And I said give it here.
JESS: And?
MIRANDA: Repotted it, cut it back hard, way harder than felt comfortable, like more than half the plant gone. Gave it decent light, backed off the water. Six weeks later it's got new growth coming out of nowhere.
JESS: And she called you a—
MIRANDA: A plant witch. Yes. She called me a plant witch and I have brought that up probably eleven times since, to eleven different people, completely unprompted.
JESS: You're bringing it up right now.
MIRANDA: I'm aware. I said I would name it when it happens and there it is, I'm doing it.
JESS: So what's the actual lesson under that story, for someone listening who's not in the room?
MIRANDA: The lesson is that a plant looking dead is usually not the same as being dead. If there's any green left, any life in the stem, cutting it back hard and repotting into fresh soil does more good than people expect. People are scared to cut a plant back because it feels mean. It's not mean. It's honestly the kindest thing you can do for something that's struggling.
JESS: Okay, give me the one tip. Somebody's listening on their commute, they're never gonna take the class, what do they do tonight.
MIRANDA: Tonight — go turn one of your pots over. Just one. Look at the drainage hole. If water's pooling at the bottom and just sitting there, that's most of your plant problems right there. Most plants die from too much water, not too little, I say this every single class because it's the one thing that actually fixes stuff. People water out of guilt. The plant looks sad, so they water it, and it's already drowning.
JESS: How do you know the difference between thirsty and drowning?
MIRANDA: Stick your finger in the soil, actually in it, past the first knuckle. If it's wet down there, leave it alone. That's the whole tip. Costs nothing, takes ten seconds.
JESS: I like that it's just — a finger.
MIRANDA: It's always the finger. I don't have a fancier answer. I wish I did, I'd sound smarter.
JESS: You sound like a plant witch.
MIRANDA: Thank you, I'll take it, twelfth time.
JESS: So next session — water, right? That's the big one, hard water stuff?
MIRANDA: Yeah, we're doing the whole hard water talk, the white crust on the pots, why your peace lily's leaf tips go brown even when you're doing everything else right. I finally figured out my own version of this — I looked at the crust on a plant pot one day and realized it's the exact same stuff I scrub off my shower door every week. Same water, same crust, just showing up in a different spot in my house.
JESS: That's kind of a horrifying realization.
MIRANDA: It really is, once you see it you can't unsee it. So next time we talk about letting your water sit out overnight before you use it, and why that actually matters more than people think out here.
JESS: Bring your saddest plant.
MIRANDA: Bring your saddest plant. I mean that every time and people bring genuinely sad plants and I love it.
JESS: That's it for episode three. Thanks for listening — Miranda, anything else?
MIRANDA: Just — turn the pot over. Do it tonight. That's my whole pitch.
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- Houseplant Care 101: Plant Care For Beginners | How To Water, Lighting, Soil, Repot & MorePlant Life with Ashley Anita
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- The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Healthy HouseplantsFamily Plot Garden
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- Beginners Guide to Houseplants | Houseplant Care 101 | Plant Care Tips for BeginnersBath Garden Center & Nursery
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